WTF

What the fuck is wrong with me! yesterday I was so happy it was like someone stuck a candle up my ass and set me ablaze! I had so much freakin' energy, i stayed up until 5 am this morning and it wasn't even on the computer just sittin' here thinking about what i want to do with the rest of my life!
Today I'm sad and partly jealous of someone who I wish would/could spend more time with me. I wish I can be in his arms 24/7! but i can't :(
I feel like i'm in prison cuz my parents try to control, who I hang out with and what not...and they don't even live here but they still act like they have control over me! ugh! i hate that feeling....why don't they just FUCK OFF!
Yessterday before my cousin came over, my mom popped her head over here and it really fucking made me turn from happy to depressed in 3.5 seconds! I thought about killing myself last night..i can't take living my life in secrets from my mother and having to hang out with people (namely my cousin) behind her back. don't get me wrong, i will not quit hanging out with my cousin because of this, unless i'm givin a good reason too...and my mom hating it is NOT a good reason.
URGH! sorry i had to get that out.